Watching scary films when you’re an empath and chronically ill

Watching scary films when you’re an empath and chronically ill

Watching Scary Films When You’re an Empath and Chronically Ill

Sometimes I want to watch a film, but reading the description is enough to make me think twice.

The story sounds interesting. I want to know what happens. But then I notice the mention of violence, or the trailer becomes a little too intense, and I can already feel myself getting tense.

I have not even pressed play yet.

I have always been sensitive to what I watch, but since becoming chronically ill, I have noticed how much harder some films are for me to manage. Something that is supposed to be entertainment can leave me feeling unsettled, overwhelmed and anything but rested.

I Have Always Felt Stories Deeply

I cry at adverts. Films, books, documentaries, even a short video of someone being kind can set me off.

Sometimes it catches me completely by surprise. I can be watching something fairly ordinary and suddenly find myself reaching for a tissue.

I describe myself as an empath because other people’s emotions affect me deeply. That is how I make sense of my own experience, rather than a medical explanation for it.

When I watch something upsetting, I can find it difficult to leave those feelings behind when the programme finishes. A scene might come back to me later, especially when I am lying in bed trying to settle down.

Real stories can be particularly difficult. Knowing that someone actually experienced what I am watching makes it harder to put aside.

What Changed When I Became Chronically Ill

Living with chronic illness has changed how much I feel able to take in.

When I am already dealing with pain and fatigue, I often have less patience for noise, bright lights or anything that feels demanding. A film full of sudden sounds, tension and distress can become too much surprisingly quickly.

I notice my shoulders tightening. My jaw clenches. Sometimes I get that jittery feeling before anything particularly frightening has happened.

I cannot say exactly why this happens, or whether someone else with chronic illness would experience it in the same way. I just know that I notice it more now, and that it affects what I choose to watch.

On some days, I have enough to cope with before the television even goes on.

Wanting the Story but Struggling With the Film

The frustrating part is that I still want to watch things.

I enjoy an interesting plot and complicated characters. I used to enjoy a proper scary film too, although gore has never been for me.

Sometimes everyone is talking about something and I want to join in. I want to understand the ending, see what the fuss is about and enjoy a film without having to think quite so carefully about whether I can manage it.

Being told “it is only a film” does not really help. I know it is a film. That does not stop me feeling shaken by it.

And although I can switch it off, the images and feelings do not always disappear quite as quickly.

What Helps Me Choose What to Watch

I am learning to take how I feel into account before choosing a film, rather than assuming I should be able to watch something because I managed it before.

• Reading About It First

I usually read the description and try to get a sense of how intense it might be.

Trailers sometimes help, although occasionally the trailer itself tells me everything I need to know about whether something is right for me that day.

• Giving Myself Permission to Stop

For a long time, I felt that I should push through.

Now, if something is leaving me tense or upset, I try to let myself stop. Being interested in the story does not mean I have to finish watching it.

• Choosing Something Gentler

I still enjoy stories with depth and emotion. I just do not always want violence, dread or constant tension alongside them.

Of course, choosing a love story is no guarantee that I will avoid crying. The death of a character I have grown attached to can leave me absolutely sobbing.

But I am getting better at noticing the difference between feeling moved by something and feeling overwhelmed by it.

• Doing Something Else When Watching Feels Too Much

Sometimes I do not want another programme at all.

I need quiet, or a gentler way to spend my time. I have shared some of those possibilities in my post about low energy hobbies for chronic illness.

Having other options helps me remember that I can still enjoy my evening, even if the film I had planned to watch feels like too much.

Learning to Trust My Own Limits

There is a little sadness in realising that something you used to enjoy has become more difficult.

Chronic illness changes so many everyday things. What I watch might seem small, but it is another adjustment in a life that already involves plenty of them.

I am still learning to accept that my capacity changes. What feels manageable one evening might feel completely overwhelming another.

I do not always get it right. But I am trying to spend less time being annoyed with myself and more time paying attention to what actually helps.

Sometimes that means watching the film. Sometimes it means choosing something familiar. And sometimes it means turning the television off.

If you recognise yourself in any of this, I hope you feel a little less alone. You do not have to explain or defend every choice you make about how to spend your limited energy.

About me

I am a married mother of four children. One of those children is our granddaughter, for whom we are legal guardians and kinship carers. I run a small business, and I love to write, which is how this blog came to be. I write about family life, kinship care, and my experiences living with chronic illness and disability, including ME CFS, spinal stenosis, TMJD, chronic pain, and fibromyalgia. I am also very aware that I am doing all of this in my mid-forties, which still surprises me some days.

You’re not alone here. You’re welcome to stay as long as you need.