Why Cuddles Matter: Building a Bond With Your Child

How important are cuddles with your child? For me, they have always been one of my favourite parts of being a mum. That closeness, having them tucked into you, knowing that at that moment they just want to be with you. I love it.

All three of my boys have always been cuddly and affectionate, which I adore. I cuddle them as much as I can, partly because I want to hold on to those moments, but also because I want them to know I am here. That they are loved, and that they can always come to me.

So when my baby step-granddaughter came to live with us at just five months old, cuddles were one of the first things I thought about.

She had already been through so much change. From her birth mum, to her foster mum, and then to me. Different arms, different voices, different people caring for her. Such a lot for someone so little.

I wanted to scoop her up and show her that I was here, that she could get to know me and feel comfortable with me. I wanted her to feel at home.

And the way I knew best was through cuddles.

I did worry, though. What if she wasn’t a cuddly baby? What if she didn’t like being held very much, or wanted her own space? Just because my boys loved their cuddles didn’t mean she would.

I hoped she would enjoy that closeness too, but I would have to get to know her, see what she liked and take it from there.

Well, I needn’t have worried about that. She loved her cuddles.

I held her as much as she was happy for me to, which turned out to be quite a lot. Those moments meant so much to me. We were getting to know each other, and being able to comfort her helped me feel closer to her too.

Over the years, I have heard people say, “Boys are much cuddlier than girls.” My boys certainly love a cuddle, but she soon showed us that she was just as affectionate.

“Cuddles” became her favourite word. And honestly, I was more than happy to oblige.

She would sit with me, cuddled up for as long as we could. Sometimes we were quiet, just enjoying being together. There was so much I wanted her to know, and at that age I couldn’t explain it all. But I could hold her, respond to her and keep being there.

Looking back, those cuddles are such a special part of my memories of her settling in with us. Along with all the everyday care, they helped us build our own relationship. Little by little, we got to know each other.

I couldn’t change everything she had already experienced. There was no way of making all that change disappear with a cuddle, much as I might have wanted to. But I could offer her comfort as we found our way together.

And we did.

The bond we built means so much to me. Her trust, her affection, the way she would come to me for a cuddle. I will always cherish that.

I feel very lucky to have had so many cuddles with my children. Those little arms reaching up, wanting to be held, are something I will never take for granted.