Negative self-talk can break down your confidence, increase the likelihood of anxiety, and impact your relationships too. We have an inner critic, and sometimes that little critic can make us produce our best work or keep us on track. 

Other times the little critic gets fed too often and becomes much harder to deal with. 

Negative self-talk can bring us down pretty quickly, and it can begin to be directed elsewhere too. 

What do we mean by negative self-talk?

The problem with negative self-talk is it can take many different forms. It can even sound gentle and grounded, or it can sound aggressive and mean. 

• I am so terrible at everything.

• Why am I like this? (in a none joking manner).

• I can’t do this; I am not good enough. 

They all seem mild, but they are the many building blocks that can build a negative self-talk cycle. 

You might even notice that you sound very much like the teachers and parents who perhaps told you that you couldn’t do something before. 

What can negative self-talk impact?

The short answer is that it can impact everything. The longer answer is that negative self-talk can impact everything from your job to your relationship. Here is how can why that impact happens:

Perfectionist 

There is perfectionism, never getting anything done, and there is negative self-talk. The latter is where you believe that since you cannot be perfect, you shouldn’t do it at all because great isn’t good enough. 

High-achievers tend to do so well because they aren’t concerned with perfection; they are concerned with getting the job done to the best of their ability and moving on. 

Relationship

When you begin to verbalize the negativity, it will take its toll on your partner. They can only support and encourage you for so long. Sometimes the negative talk gets redirected to them too. Before you know it, you might be facing a future without your current partner, discussing assets and ancillary relief. 

Breakdowns of relationships can be challenging to deal with, and they can further impact your negative emotions. 

Limited progression

If you believe that you cannot do something, you most likely will not be able to do it. Negative self-talk can cause us to become our own barriers in life. If you always wanted to start a small business but talk yourself out of it, you will never achieve it. 

Want to progress in your career but feel like you are unworthy? You will never put yourself forward. 

Catch and Throw

The simplest way to start putting an end to your negative self-talk is by catching the thought and throwing it away. Then replace it with a positive one. 

The more you do this, the more often you will break the cycle that is damaging you. 

Every time you have a negative thought, ask yourself, ‘who told you that?’ - and almost all the time, you will not be able to answer who because no one has said it! 

Negative self-talk is damaging but can be combated when you recognize the damage it can do and how you can stop it from happening.