Why I Side Step the question when asked How am I today
Why I Side Step the question when asked How am I today
Navigating the challenging path of chronic illness
Navigating the challenging path of chronic illness, such as chronic fatigue syndrome or myalgic encephalomyelitis (MECFS), transforms the simple question of 'How are you today?' into a loaded question. It carries the weight of countless unseen struggles and unpredictable symptoms, making living with chronic fatigue and chronic pain a complex reality to convey.
Living with conditions like ME/CFS and chronic pain means each day presents its own unique battle. Some days, the symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome, such as overwhelming pain and fatigue, make basic tasks feel insurmountable. Yet, on other days, there might be moments of respite, offering a glimpse of normalcy amidst chronic fatigue and chronic pain.
The question
When faced with the question of how I'm doing, I often sidestep a direct answer, not out of evasion but from a need for self-preservation. The intricacies of living with chronic illness like chronic fatigue syndrome / myalgic encephalomyelitis (MECFS), and the constant fatigue that accompanies it, are hard to explain in a brief exchange without the risk of being misunderstood. Instead, I might offer a vague 'I'm hanging in there' or 'I have good days and bad days,' hoping these responses convey the complex reality of living with MECFS without necessitating a lengthy explanation.
On the flip side, responding with phrases like 'I'm not good' or 'I'm in a lot of pain' is emotionally draining. It's a stark reminder of my battle with chronic fatigue syndrome and myalgic encephalomyelitis (MECFS), highlighting the severe fatigue and the chronic pain. Thus, I'm cautious about sharing this burden, trying to protect my well-being by not dwelling on these overwhelming emotions.
Keep asking me the question
The concern and care behind the question 'How are you?' warms my heart, knowing that the people around me care about my battle with chronic fatigue syndrome, myalgic encephalomyelitis (MECFS), and living with pain. However, the gap between my outward appearance and inner experience creates a barrier difficult to bridge in casual conversation.
I appreciate it when people inquire about my well-being, showing care for me. While I aim to manage my illness in my own way, I value their concern and hope they understand my approach to handling 'how are you today' questions.
If you ask me how I am and receive a vague response, know it's not a dismissal of your kindness. It's a reflection of the daily intricacies of living with chronic illness, where each day is filled with unseen challenges, but also small victories.x
Final thoughts
Navigating the complex world of chronic illness, including ME/CFS, chronic pain, and fibromyalgia, I often sidestep questions about my wellness and my health. It's not about hiding; it's about maintaining a positive atmosphere and focusing on lighter topics to foster joy and connection, despite the fatigue and challenges.
Sometimes, when feeling particularly down, I might share my struggles, needing someone to acknowledge the fatigue and pain that comes. Yet, I often remind myself not to dwell on these feelings, aiming to stay resilient amidst the challenges.
Thank you for your understanding and for being a supportive presence on this journey.
About me
I am a married mother of four children, in my mid 40's. I run a small business and enjoy writing, which is why I blog. My blog focuses on my experiences of living with chronic illnesses and disabilities such as ME/CFS, spinal stenosis, chronic pain, and fibromyalgia.
