My Dad’s Wise Words

It’s father’s day yesterday, the 2nd year without my dad.

I lost my dad 22 months ago and it has been the most heart-wrenchingly painful, confusing time. Grief never leaves you, it is consuming and suffocating and… numbing - it changes you. 

Amongst all the pain and grief, I have many fond memories, many happy ones, ones that make me smile. 

My dad was always good at energising me but at the same time keeping me grounded, he did this in many ways, and one-way would be from his wise words.

With my own children, I too am passing on my dad’s wisdom, using his kind, loving words of guidance, that continue to guide me to-date and that I hope and wish that will also guide my children.

Here are a few I keep close to my heart and often and naturally share with my kids, and I often remind them that ‘grandad would say to me…..’ 

There is a choice of two roads to take in life, good or bad, you get to choose what one you take, just make sure it is the good road and you will be alright in life.

As a child, I took the bad route a few times, but as I grew/matured, my dads words were always in the back of mind, and I follow this ethos - the good route has worked out quite well thus far, just as my dad said it would. 

Money doesn’t bring your happiness, believe me, I had it, I had it all, I lost it all, and now I have little, but I have you kids and your mum and I am the happiest I have ever been.

My dad had an eventful life, born in the 40s, he lost his mum when he was just a baby, he never knew his father and he grew up in a London Barnardo’s boys home for most of his childhood until his aunt and uncle finally adopted him when he was a pre-teen. My dad would tell us the stories of going from a poor boy to moving to a wealthy household - he didn’t handle it very well… When he became a young adult he married his first wife, which didn’t go very well, he lost everything. He then met my mum, they had nothing, but this is when he was happiest. 

Run your house and bills like a business

Money was tight when we were growing up, we didn’t have a lot, we grew up in a 3-bed council home, there were 5 of us kids, and both my parents worked hard. He would tell me often that running the household like a business was important, paying the bill, especially the rent/mortgage was imperative, as it was the roof over your head.

Never anticipate what the driver in front of you is going to do, that is how crashes happen

We travelled a lot as a family, we had a caravan and would go caravanning many many times a year. Travelling around the UK mostly and Europe a few times, and I vividly have always remembered when we was driving through Paris one year and we see a car shunt into another car in front of us, dad exclaimed these wise words, and they have just always stuck with me, even to this day.

If you are going to do something, do it properly, or simply do the best you can, but don’t cut corners

My dad was always thorough in doing anything, although not always very good at it (we have some laughs about this), he always tried to do it to the best of his ability.

Always finish what you start

If you start something, you must finish it, it was as simple as that.

Just do the best you can that is all you can do

I love these words, and they mean so much, and I cannot say these to my kids enough, it rings so true.

Keep the hoover clean it will last a lot longer (he would always tell me off when he popped round and see I hadn’t (hardly ever) emptied my hoover)

This is ongoing humour - I would try to remember to hide the hoover away before my dad was coming round as if not, he would always tell me off about it. :) 

Look after something properly and it will last a lot longer

This couples up with the previous wise words, dad always encouraged us to do it properly.

If you fall down get right back up (my dad worked with horses and he would say once I had a bad accident, but I knew I had to get right back on that horse so I didn’t become fearful of horses)

As a family hobby, we did BMX racing, we were in a club and would travel for many tournaments. BMX would involve a lot of crashing, and I just always remember my dad saying if we crashed, in his inspirational way, “get right back on that bike and finish the race”.

Never tell lies, it’s the worse thing you can do - a liar always gets caught out

This was important to my dad, he really hated lies and really instilled this into me. Honesty is really the best policy no matter how hard it is.

If you want something in life you have to work hard for it, nothing in life is for free

My dad was a really hard worker, he really encouraged strong work ethics in us.

If it’s too good to be true then it probably is

Dad always wanted us to be a step of the game as such, to be alert and cautious. he’d often say if it is too good to be true, that it probably is.

Some of these wise words, in my younger years as a young adult I rebelled against, making life harder for myself, and later on thinking I should’ve listened to my dad, he was always right and his words will continue to echo in my mind and heart. My dad’s words live through me today and I share them with my own kids to hopefully pass on some of that wisdom I learnt from my dad. These are words that ring true for me; these words got me with the trials and tribulations of life, and they will linger in my soul for the rest of my life. Without my father’s love and guidance, I would not have grown into the woman I am today