It’s just a bath

Picture this: a cosy bathtub, bubbles floating on the surface, a book propped up on the ledge, warmth and quietness as you sink into pure relaxation and tranquillity. That sounds like what you’d expect when you have a bath, right? But for me, as someone with ME, the thought of taking a bath can be daunting. The prospect of triggering a flare-up of symptoms like post-exertional malaise(PEM) can be overwhelming. Yet, despite these challenges, I still eagerly anticipate the precious moments of self-care that a bath can provide.

Unfortunately, the simple act of having a bath, including shaving, scrubbing my body, and washing my hair, quickly leads to immense fatigue, raised heart rate, muscle weakness, and pain. Getting out of a bath is a struggle, and I have no choice but to drag myself to my bed and wait there and wait for my heart rate to slow down and for the PEM to subside. I lay in immense pain, as my lower back is so fatigued and weakened with pain it’s just too painful to lie flat with my legs straight. I have to bend my knees so the lower back pain subsides, but then it’s an effort to keep my knees bent. I just want to drop them down straight and sink into my bed, but my lower back weakness and pain won’t allow it. My heart is racing like I just ran a mile uphill, my arms are heavy, and my eyes just want to shut. I lay there in limbo, unable to do anything; all I can do is succumb to my broken body.  

All of this is triggered by a simple bath. Luckily, it doesn’t happen every time I bathe, but it happens frequently. It's scary, heart-breaking, debilitating, and it’s what I have to accept and what I have to live with – I have no choice in the matter; my body is broken.

Adapting

But I refuse to let my condition completely ruin a self-care routine that I enjoy. I've found new ways to adapt to small steps, cutting down on washing my hair and carefully planning out my bath routine to avoid a PEM crash. I’ve gone from washing my hair every other day to once a week. Also, I am trying new ways to remove hair from my legs. I’ve been trying hair removal creams, and I am looking at waxing - both of which allow longer breaks between my needing hair removal, and it can be done anytime, and not just during a bath.

Final thoughts

It's all about listening to my body and finding strategies that work for me. Sure, I still frequently get caught out, and there's still so much to learn about my new self, but I won't let it stop me from indulging in the little luxuries that life has to offer. It's all about finding what works best for me and adapting my routine accordingly - whether that means pacing myself, breaking down tasks, or just being kind to my body, but never pushing my body.

Having a bath is not as simple as having a bath…not for me.

About me

I am a married mother of four children. One of those four children is our granddaughter, for whom we are SGO (legal guardians)/kinship carers. I run a small business and enjoy writing, so I blog. My blog focuses on my family life as well as my experiences of living with chronic illnesses and disabilities such as ME/CFS, spinal stenosis, chronic pain, and fibromyalgia.  Oh, and I am only in my mid-40s.