Special Guardianship Journey

The Special Guardian (SGO) has complete legal guardianship of the child, whereas the Birthparents have limited parental responsibility and may choose to remain involved in their child's life through supervised or unsupervised visits.

As with our situation, we because Special Guardians as the birthparents had the child removed from them. Unfortunately, birth parents don’t always support the child’s foster carer, kinship carer or special guardians.

Taking on the responsibility of a child through an SGO (Special Guardian Order) can be a major upheaval in one's life. It is not just a one-time event, but a long-term commitment that requires navigating through complex challenges. Doing so can be incredibly tough, both for the child and the guardian.

From the lack of support systems in place to feeling like we are continuously shouldering the blame, the weight on our shoulders can feel unbearable at times. It often feels like society overlooks the unique struggles we face, leaving us feeling isolated and misunderstood. Despite our best efforts and intentions, the blame seems to always find its way back to us, further adding to the emotional toll of being an SGO. It's a constant battle to advocate for the children in our care while also fighting against the stigma and judgment that often accompanies this role.

We take on these children to save them from going into the foster care system, to keep them in the family, and to keep the connection between the child and the birth parents. Whereas the birthparents don't often see this as a positive and we quickly become the enemy in their eyes. My story below is just one small example of the additional challenges we deal with.

Is it bad parenting to dress Children in stained vests?

Okay,  I admit it, white is not the best colour to buy baby vests in the first place, but they are cheaper, and they do the same job as any other colourful vest. Unfortunately white does attract dirt and will get stained, and even after soaking them in vanish, some stains just don't budge -  does this mean I should throw them out? Am I wrong to still carry on using them? i.e. putting my child in a 'stained' vest *Shock Horror*  - sorry for the sarcasm. Who is going to see the vest with a couple of small stains on it anyhow? no one,  the vest is worn under a dress or t-shirt! Does this make me a bad parent?  Sorry for the sarcasm, but I don't think a couple of small stains on a vest really matter.

During the supervised weekly visit of my little one's birth parents, I was both surprised and later amused when they complained to Social Services about me, claiming that I had dressed the little one in a dirty vest. They used the word "dirty" to describe a stain on the vest, which was definitely not the case, as it had been freshly washed and cleaned. The difference between a stain and dirt is significant, and it was important to clarify this misunderstanding.

If you are wondering what types of stains? Well,l it is just your normal food and drink stains that toddlers get on their vests. So I said to the social worker, what is the problem? because I don't see one.

And, I do not feel bad for putting her in a stained vest.

I clean the vests after each time they have been worn, and this is only about stained vests, I would never put my children in stained clothing like tops and trousers, and I most definitely would never put any of them in dirty clothes.