Dear father of the boy that....

You turned up at my house in the evening when it was dark, when I was alone whilst my hubby had gone to the gym, banging on my door so hard and loud it shook the house. I knew instantly who it was.  Who else would knock on my door like that?

Earlier my son had told me the trouble he had experienced, where a boy had hit him 3 times and wouldn’t stop, and my son lost his temper and hit him back.  I talked to my son and made it very clear that he is to walk away next time and to keep away from your son, and then he mentioned your son’s name – and to my shock, it was your son that had pulled a BB gun out during an argument they had a couple of weeks prior and your son threatened to shot my son.  Yes, my son admitted that he had been saying horrible words in exchange with your boy, and he knows they are wrong, and he knows that I do not agree or will tolerate that type of behaviour from him.

I looked through the peep-hole in my front door, to see not one person standing there, but a 4. I knew you were obviously angry, due to the banging on my door, thus, I took a deep breath, no idea what I will open the door to; I nearly didn't open it... I opened and simply said ‘yes’.

You immediately stepped up to me and into my personal space and demanded if I was the mother. I could see the rage in your eyes, hear the anger in your voice.  I can’t remember what was said, but there was no way I was going to let you in my home. Dear father of the boy.. I may only be 5’2”, and weigh 8st, but I am a mother and I will protect and stand up for my children no matter what happens to me. 

I had 4 children in the house, 2 of which are young. Dear father of the boy... my hubby had just gone to the gym, I was alone standing between you and my son – there was no way in hell I was going to let you get past.

I remember you demanding / shouting at me to get my son out so he could fight your son, who you had brought along with you, who stood there in silence whilst you shouted at me, whilst you were so angry you were punching your own car in front of us.

You were shouting at me to bring my husband out so you could ‘sort him out’ if I wasn't going to bring my son out.  I stood my ground, and yes I did lose my patience, and yes I was shouting back at you, screaming to get off my of garden or I’ll call the police – yes I did get angry, but I was scared, I am a mother and I will protect my children no matter what.

In those minutes you shouted my son was the bully, you hated bullies, bullies should be stopped... but Dear father of the boy, in those moments you were the bully. You demanded / shouted at the two woman you brought along with you, to punch me ‘NOW’.  But luckily the woman, your son’s mother was much more civil, she apologised explaining to me that you are her ex. 

Amongst all the shouting, you did finally hear me, you heard that my son wasn't the only one to blame here, that your son was just as bad as mine – and that this all started from when your son pulled a BB gun out on my son 2 weeks ago.  And, then you calmed down.  My older son came out and spoke to you and apologised for his younger brothers actions, and told them he will keep away from your son.

Then you apologised.  

Then you left.

Dear father of the boy... I don’t agree with my son’s behaviour, and I dealt with my son. But, then I wonder if you behave the way you did in front of your son with me that evening, what kind of example are you setting.