Denial, pleading, desperation, anger, grief, anxiety and depression; loss of self, confusion, and hopefully, acceptance

The Stages We Go Through of Chronic Illness

As someone battling chronic illness, I can attest to the rollercoaster of emotions and stages we go through when faced with such a life-altering condition. The journey is far from straightforward, and each stage presents its unique challenges and hurdles.

First comes:

Denial

The initial stage for many of us is denial. It's a coping mechanism, a shield we subconsciously put up to protect ourselves from the harsh reality of our diagnosis, more so when you are diagnosed with a stigmatised illness, thus, a chronic illness that has been infamously neglected by the medical world.

I remember the days when I convinced myself that the debilitating symptoms I was experiencing were just temporary, there must be a cure, or that it was all in my head. Denial is a comforting bubble, a safe haven that eventually bursts, thrusting us into the unwavering truth of our condition.

Pleading and Desperation

Once denial starts to disappear into the back of our minds, we are thrust into a panic, where we find ourselves pleading for a way out of our predicament, pleading for more tests to be done, pleading to be referred to different consultants. Desperate for it not to be the untreatable, the stigmatised and historically one of the most medically ignored chronic illnesses. We scour the internet looking at symptoms to say hey, that is not my illness; the Doctors must have got it wrong; we consult countless doctors; we try every alternative therapy in a desperate attempt to regain control over our bodies. The helplessness and desperation engulf us, overshadowing any sense of rationality.

Anger

Anger is a powerful and consuming emotion that many of us experience as we grapple with chronic illness. Anger brings frustration and heartbreak and heightens panic and desperation. Anger towards our bodies for betraying us, anger towards the world for being unfair, anger towards those who don't understand our daily battles. It's a stage filled with frustration, bitterness, and resentment.

Anxiety and Depression

As we navigate the turbulent waters of chronic illness, anxiety and depression often become our unwelcome companions. The constant worry about the future, what we can’t do anymore, all our dreams are gone, the feelings of isolation, the struggle to find joy in the midst of pain – it all takes a toll on our mental well-being. The weight of carrying an invisible burden can be suffocating, dragging us into a spiral of darkness.

Loss of Self and Confusion

Chronic illness has a way of stripping away the layers of our identity, leaving us feeling lost and confused. The hobbies we once enjoyed, the careers we worked so hard for, and the social life we cherished all seem to slip through our fingers as we grapple with the limitations imposed by our condition. Who are we now, in this new reality we never asked for?

Finally:

Acceptance

And then, after traversing through the depths of despair, we arrive at acceptance. It's not a sudden revelation but a gradual surrender to our circumstances. Acceptance is not synonymous with defeat; it's a state of peace that comes from acknowledging our reality and learning to live in harmony with it. It's about finding a new normal, redefining our priorities, and rediscovering joy in the little victories.

Final Thoughts

The stages of chronic illness are a tumultuous journey through the intricacies of human emotions. While the path may be fraught with challenges, it's also a testament to our resilience and strength. As we navigate denial, pleading, grief, anger, and acceptance, we learn to embrace our vulnerabilities and cultivate a deeper sense of compassion—for ourselves and for others walking a similar path.

Let's remember that it's okay not to have it all figured out, to feel lost in the midst of chaos, and to seek support when needed. Our journey with chronic illness is unique, but we are never alone in our struggles. We can find solace in shared experiences, lean on each other for strength, and forge ahead with unwavering determination.

Stay strong, dear warriors/spoonies. The road ahead may be challenging, but the light of hope shines brightly in the depths of our resolute hearts.

About me

I am a married mother of four children. One of those four children is our granddaughter, for whom we are SGO (legal guardians)/kinship carers. I run a small business and enjoy writing, so I blog. My blog focuses on my family life as well as my experiences of living with chronic illnesses and disabilities such as ME/CFS, spinal stenosis, chronic pain, and fibromyalgia.  Oh, and I am only in my mid-40s.